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<mark />
06-24-2005, 11:59 PM
I'm bored, so I thought I'd start a board (forum) game called twisted wishes. Each poster begins their post by explaining how the previous wish was granted, but with undesirable consequences then posts their own wish. For example:

1. I wish I were shorter

2. Your wish is granted. Your legs fall off.
I wish for a million wishes!

3. Your wish is granted, but all of your wishes are twisted wishes.
I wish I had more hair.

4. Granted, but it is all growing on the bottom of your feet.

Get the idea? Good. I'll start.

I wish I didn't get so much spam.

jalal
06-25-2005, 02:17 AM
I wish I didn't get so much spam.

Granted. Your email server has been deleted.



Instead of telling me I've won the lottery, I wish they would just send the money.

Tom Howard
06-25-2005, 09:02 AM
Your wish is granted. They mail you the money (in a big box) without telling you. You aren't home so the mailcarrier leaves the package with your neighbor. Your neighbor is curious and looks inside. Money! When you never ask about the package, your neighbor decides to keep it.


I wish I had my work done already.

wildjokerdesign
06-25-2005, 04:03 PM
Granted: You just lost your job.

I wish I wouldn't keep forgetting things.

<mark />
06-25-2005, 04:31 PM
Granted. Your memory is completely erased, so there isn't anything more you can forget.


I wish I had x-ray vision.

Tom Howard
06-27-2005, 09:45 PM
Granted, but you can't turn it off. You run into objects that are right in front of you because you are seeing through them. You can never sleep because you can see through your eyelids.

I wish my website made money.

SJP
06-28-2005, 01:03 AM
Granted. But you exceeded your bandwidth and had to pay WH as much as you made.

I wish I could think of a wish.

Jonnyb0y
06-28-2005, 11:11 AM
I wish I could think of a wish.

Granted. You thought one up, but unfortunately you forgot it before you could ask for it because your entire memory was also erased and now you can't remember (or forget) anything. You must have been the beta test for all of this new fangled memory technology.

I wish I spent less time writing scripts and more time dating ;)

torrin
06-28-2005, 11:16 AM
I wish I spent less time writing scripts and more time dating ;)

Granted: You've been sentenced to 20 years at Leavenworth. Your date is some guy named Bubba.

I wish I had my own business.

TheOne
06-29-2005, 12:52 AM
I wish I had my own business.

Your wish is granted. You are now own a one-man operation in the sewer diving (http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A45322-2004Aug29.html) industry.

I wish had super powers.

Tom Howard
07-18-2005, 03:07 PM
Granted, you gain the ability to speak to slugs... it turns out that they don't have much to say.

I wish I had the combined web knowledge of FZ, Jalal, and WildJoker!

wildjokerdesign
07-18-2005, 04:43 PM
Granted but you also inherieted WildJoker's lose of memory so you can not retian any of the knowledge and like him have to always look things up.

I wish for world peace.

SJP
07-24-2005, 08:04 PM
Granted. Your internet connection goes out. Due to your poor memory you forget that the world is not at peace and are aggravated you can't read the news on yahoo! to settle your suspicion.

I wish Windows wouldn't time out my DSL link.

SJP

Tom Howard
07-25-2005, 01:57 AM
I wish Windows wouldn't time out my DSL link.

Granted. You lose your DSL link. Windows now times out on your dial-up account.

I wish I owned a private carribean island.

SJP
07-25-2005, 01:03 PM
Granted. But due to your poor memory inherited from WildJoker you were too hasty to realize your dreams and got swindled. You now own an undersea volcanic region in the carribean that is undergoing island formation. It's private since nobody lives there and you didn't say it couldn't be submerged :-)

I wish for a private carribean island that is above the water.

j103c
07-26-2005, 08:07 AM
I wish for a private carribean island that is above the water.
Granted. A private carrebean island that is above water exists, but you have no rights to it.

I wish WestHost would upgrade our SpamAssassin installations to version 3 next week.

<mark />
07-26-2005, 08:29 AM
Your wish is granted, but it is done on WestHost Alternative Time (WHAT(tm)) where days can become weeks or months. By the time it happens, SpamAssassin 4 is released.

I wish "caribbean" weren't so hard to spell. ;)

j103c
07-26-2005, 09:46 AM
I wish "caribbean" weren't so hard to spell. ;)
Your wish is granted, but your proof-reading skills deteriorate to the level of a sleepy j103c. ;)

I wish my car was able to tell my why the 'check engine' light is on.

Tom Howard
07-26-2005, 10:01 AM
I wish my car was able to tell my why the 'check engine' light is on.

Granted. Your car is equipped with a user-surly AI. It constantly complains about everything that is wrong with it and criticizes your driving. In the end you prefer to walk.

I wish my eyesight was better.

SJP
07-26-2005, 11:36 AM
Granted. You get new glasses.

I wish spammers didn't ignore me.

SJP

Tom Howard
08-08-2005, 12:40 AM
Granted. They decide the best method is the direct method. They follow you everywhere you go making "special" offers. They move into your house and help themselves to your food.

I wish google would move their products out of beta.

visible soul
08-08-2005, 01:28 PM
I wish google would move their products out of beta.
Granted. But they release them all with multiple bugs and security vulnerabilities and hire you as chief support specialist.

I wish I was 19 again.

<mark />
10-17-2005, 09:31 AM
I wish I was 19 again.

Granted, a group of scientists do it by reversing the aging process. Unfortunately, the process can't be stopped and you go through puberty in reverse. Your body continues to shrink as you go from adolescence to infancy. Eventually you are reduced to a single-celled organism and are kept in a petri dish for study.


I wish posting to this thread gave people magical powers.

Tom Howard
10-17-2005, 09:44 AM
I wish posting to this thread gave people magical powers.

Granted. Since I'm posting to this thread I get the magical powers. I use the magical powers to prevent anyone else from getting the benefit (including <mark />). Of course the power corrupts me and I abuse it. I end up wiping out all of humanity when they rise up against me.


(I wish I hadn't have done that).

Armadillo
10-19-2005, 08:14 PM
I wish I hadn't have done that.
Granted. Humanity rises up against you anyway, on a Monday, for no particular reason. You do not survive the massive nuclear bombardment.

I wish my sites had a better Google ranking.

Tom Howard
10-21-2005, 09:35 AM
I wish my sites had a better Google ranking.

Granted. Due to a Google bug, your websites get top rankings for "purple monkey dishwater" searches. Your overall internet traffic declines, however.


I wish I had a really good sandwich right now.

<mark />
02-16-2006, 01:25 PM
I wish I had a really good sandwich right now.

Granted, but it turns out that you've developed allergies to every one of its ingredients.


I wish Microsoft focused less on adding new features to their products and focused more on making sure the current one worked correctly.

rolling
05-17-2010, 03:45 PM
Granted. But you are destiined to spend your entire life working hard and making large amounts of money for other people.

I wish WH3 was not EOL ;)